“I was trying to get back in, y'all. I promise.”Ja’Marr Chase, Bengals WR, after hyperextending his knee and sending shockwaves across the Fantasy Football Community.
🎙️ Leading Off
Marc (KMARC) Stad leapfrogged Marc (another) Lore to becoStme Minnesota Timberwolves controlling owner. Stad bought Lore’s majority shares so that Lore can focus his efforts on AI-enabled meal delivery firm Wonder (which is definitely not just restaurants). What were once very long term holdings are now proving to be rather liquid. Lore officially owned the Wolves for about 14 months.
The NBA is looking to formalize a European league plus two expansion teams. When those franchise licenses sell, large chunks of the money are redistributed to team owners. Remember, the owners own the league. The league’s money is their money. Buy in now, no matter what the price, and expect significant cashflow in the near future. Sign me up!
🏈 Hard In The Paint
(Al Diaz/Miami Herald)
Brother I can just absolutely taste it. CUE CHESNEY, the Boys of Fall are right around the corner! We’ll save the feels for a pending college football post, and focus today on the NFL. Our nation’s religion. Training camp is a couple weeks from wrapping up and the League is up to its usual crimes. Injuries? Got em. Trash uniforms no one asked for? Coming to a rivalry game near you. Owner caught in a honey trap at a mobile home park in Ohio and busted for prostitution. You bet. Football is back. We’ll keep the good news rolling by unpacking the very worst team in the league: the Miami Dolphins.
Eeee Eee Eeee Eee Eee!. I imagine a rallying cry rolled through Little Havana in spring when Tua Tagovailoa was finally cut. It’s a new era in the Crypto Capitol of the World, but it’s designed to look a lot like something more north.
Miami imported Green Bay Packers GM Jon Eric-Sullivan after 22 years in Wisconsin. His first crack at running a big club. Step one? Hire former Packers DC Jeff Hafley to be HC. Need more? How about former backup Green Bay QB Malik Willis to be QB1.
Eric-Sullivan has his work cut out for him. Saddled by $55m in dead money from cutting Tua, the roster upgrades from last year’s 7-10 team are sparse. 31yr old DL Zach Sieler holds the highest cap charge at just $11m. You are watching the Dolphins because the uniforms are perpetually awesome, it’s typically sunny in South Florida, and maybe you were alive for Dan Marino. Mix in a little Devon Achane and you got yourself a Sunday afternoon!
Who’s in charge of this mess? That would be NYC real estate scion Stephen Ross. Ross built the Related Companies one skyscraper at a time with about 10 billion times more success than he’s built this football program. In 2024, Stephen cashed in 10% of the team to private equity firm Ares Management, and shipped another 3% of equity to esteemed Brooklyn Nets Owner Joe Tsai. Perhaps the strongest real estate portfolio among a cap table in sports, but virtually no hope to sniff the postseason. Oh well. It’s been 25 years since this franchise won a playoff game. What’s one more?
That’s it. That’s the operation. Ross needs to strike gold with Green Bay’s former middle management, hope to land a high enough draft pick to draft a QB, and never, ever hand out a contract as bad as Tua’s again. Pull all that together, and the Fish will have people dancin on South Beach.
📻 Over The Air
📡 JumboTron: Tonight’s Must Watch
All times PST
Astros vs Yankees, 4:05pm Prime
Club America vs Columbus Crew, 7:45pm Apple TV
☎️ The Phone Line
Best thing on the timeline today:
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Walkup Song
Walkup Song
Less Than Jake
For Stephen Ross who at least tried to make Tua a franchise QB:
Spotify